I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize