so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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