u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
