Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The adults are the big ones right?
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