Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize