I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
