It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
