my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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