She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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