I want to have your abortion
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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