Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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