i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize