Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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