the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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