drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
