my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You ruined the universe
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
