I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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