'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize