it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
