It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
