Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
