i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
