Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize