She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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