we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
