The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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