NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
