Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
