you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I understand Curling. That high.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
