Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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