she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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