so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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