Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
