Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
