The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
