you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
