would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
