Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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