wakey wakey hands off snakey
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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