My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
