You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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