I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
