Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
