I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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