ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
