you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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