so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
