apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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