Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
