I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
