Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's blow job season.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
