the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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