You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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