He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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