if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
