so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
