Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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