3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
