I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
