She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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