Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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