You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
