Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
