I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
