I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
