Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
