the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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