Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
time to smoke my breakfast
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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