Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
