oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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