We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
