So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
