Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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