Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
this hospital has no fireball
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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