garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Only a mothe r could love this liver
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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