I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
