He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
